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Answers: Why does my mom hurt me even more when she sees me hurt already?

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Devin

Milltown, New Jersey

Answers: Why does my mom hurt me even more when she sees me hurt already?

i am 20 and did something 2 months ago which cost me my parents trust. I really regret what I did and I am bending over backwards to try to get it back. My life fell apart, literally. I thought about suicide twice and I walk around everyday with a lump in my throat fighting back my tears. If you ask anybody who knows me they would tell you that I was the most cheerful, outgoing and positive person they know. But that all changed. No words can begin to describe the pain, shame, guilt and worthlessness that I feel. My apologies were accepted by my father 15 days ago and I have been doing everything to impress him. Today my mother got mad at me in front of him for a silly reason and I burst Into tears when I was out of the room. She then came to me and said "there is no reason to start any drama" and I was like crying and saying "it embarrasses me when you scold me in front of him, you could've told me in private, I've been trying so hard to please him and show him that I have changed..." and she was like " am I supposed to be careful not to hurt your feelings now? Times when I did are over...". 30 mins later she was talking to me about fashion and furniture. I am so hurt, I feel like she seizes the opportunity when I'm broken to hurt me even more sometimes . Although I apologized to her about the incident of 2 months and we hugged and stuff and she said she forgave me. Although I'm still not allowed to contact my friends or go out. I don't get her, I' m confused. Also she thinks I'm " acting" like an angel I'm not acting like an angel. Sure I don't feel like myself because I feel worthless lonely and ashamed all the time but I really want to rebuild things with my parents. The damage is very deep but do you think I can rebuild trust even after screwing up at this age? It's not like I'm a teenager

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'Answers: Why does my mom hurt me even more when she sees me hurt already?'

Answers: Why does my mom hurt me even more when she sees me hurt already?

Answers: Why does my mom hurt me even more when she sees me hurt already?