'Lack of Self Confidence'

S.I.R (196.218.254.236) -

Hi,

I don't know if I'm writing to the correct forum or not but, I really need help.

I'm 25 year old engineer working in computer field, I lived simple life during the past period, I was successful in the school and college, through my life most of the things were easy to achieve, my family helped me a lot they pay extra attention to me because I'm the youngest member in the family.

The major problem in my life and the source of other problems is the lack of self confidence. Most of the time I'm pessimistic, afraid of doing new things, dislike adventure, very angry, and the most awful thing that sometimes I interpret things and events in a negative way that leads , most of the time, me to take stupid decisions that may ruin my whole career path.

For Example, after graduating immediately I started working for a local company (in the middle east), I worked with one of my University colleagues, I was happy in my job, I was doing everything professionally. after a while I started to feel jealous of my colleague, I started to think and realize that the management prefers him, love him more than me, I started to be angry most of the time.

After that I started to realize that our female colleagues take care of him more than me, and they prefer to go out with him. These feelings made me angry, anxious, not comfort, so one day I decided to resign from my work and went home until I got new job.

During the period of waiting another job I realized that most of the feelings I had were illusions, and I decided to prevent myself from repeating these bad feelings, and to concentrate on my work without making any close relationships with my collegues specially female ones.

Now, I'm in the sixth month of the new job, and I'm working in the same department with my best friend. I'm so worried now about my future again, I made a close relationship with one of my female colleagues, started to be jealous about her, I'm so angry with my friend, I lost my tolerance toward him, and some times I understand him wrong which lead to problems between us.

I don't want to ruin my career again, I want to be more confident, regarding relationships with girls or female colleagues, I doubt it's based on true admiring but maybe because through my life I wasn't in a real relationship, I never had a sex or even kissed a girl, maybe I'm driven by my internal pressure of my body needs.

Finally, I feel that people treat me as a weak guy. I write to a forum for the first time, I really need help.

Thanks in advance, and excuse my bad English, I'm still in the learning phase. :)

Comment #1 Timothy from East Coast, USA (Contact Member) -

Thanks for coming to the forums! What a awesome chunk of information to go off of!

I'd just like to say here, that you are certainly not alone with those emotions or outlook on things. Many people, in many of the similar situations experience similar emotions and actions that occur because of them.

I'm a certified EFT practitioner, life coach and mentor. I do not charge for my first session (there is no set time limit), and I really think that as a life coach, you could really eliminate the lack of self confidence, and begin to succeed in ways that at the present time, you thought was never possible.

Drop me an e-mail if you'd like, at yourwebcoach@yahoo.com and we can talk online or over the telephone.

I hope to hear from you soon!

Comment #2 DanDan (63.176.159.45) -

S.I.R. you are not alone here, I too haven't had the confidence before. Inferiority complex is a hindrance to a progress of us individuals and by accepting the fact that you have indeed this by going to this forum and voicing out what's on your mind, you are actually on your fist step to a solution to this conflict. Write on a piece of paper a list of what you fear the mosts (in terms of decision making and career or relationships), and then after writing it all down, choose the ones which stops you in progressing. After choosing it, write what would happen if you take such feeling and address these problems. This is some of the steps to help you identify your inferiority complex and answer them with the help of someone you trust or n expert.

Comment #3 crystal from asia (Contact Member) -

Hi S.I.R,

Feeling unwanted by others causes us to have negative feelings. Our bad experiences gives us unpleasant emotions as well as our good experiences gives us a feel good mood. We have this emotions in us and it's a human nature to react on certain things because it automatic in us. Our emotions came from our thoughts. The good thing here is that, we can also change what we feel by simply changing out thoughts. You cannot change the behavior of others but we can still be happy no matter how bad their actions are because we are the one who can control what we should react. So choose to be happy.

Comment #4 cwemoy (63.176.159.216) -

Man, you are an engineer for heaven's sake. However there are many people like you out there who in a way or the other, suffer from low self esteem.

I would suggest you look at your positive side and working towards your strengths because in the end, it is the decisions you make that will help you. Exchange ideas with the life coach and I hope the moment he decides to charge you, the rates will not be exorbitant!

Comment #5 Eve (63.176.159.37) -

Self confidence is a mental thing. Being strong minded is being able to make the best of any situation.

You are not to be blamed for what goes on around you, but only for what you may or may not be able to contribute.

At the end of the day, life is what you make it. The secret to life is seeing your destiny and believing in your destiny. Even if you have to make one of your own.

Within the realms of reality, of course, if you can dream it you can be it.

E-Mail:         

Name:            (required)

Title:           (required)

Message (do not enter emails or links or urls in the message!):