'Uncontrolled Behaviour'

George (59.178.219.216) -

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NY

My wife has problem of uncontrolled behavior. When she becomes angry she is not controllable, she will force you to say sorry even if she is wrong. And if I do not surrender she will start shouting, crying very badly with no stop, and if I try to go out from apartment she will not let you go, she will run after you. Overall it is win-win situation for her, I have to surrender otherwise it becomes very bad. I have been witnessing this for 7-8 years of marriage. I have been compromising because of my daughter and because I know her importance in my life. But at times her behavior has been dangerous, overall I am very afraid of her, she gets physical. I have to be with her throughout weekend, I cannot go out for more than one hour, and when I go out she will keep on calling me to come back. I cannot meet my friends and go out them occasionally, she gets angry. She does not like drinking, so she does not let me drink even occasionally, and if I do she insults me very badly. At home, she is mostly rude with me and always complaining and even when I am trying her to keep her happy all the time. Her behavior with neighbors has been bad because I try to spend time with them once in a while which I cannot do anymore. She very often fights with people in public transport etc. This is my day to day life, it feels there is a sword hanging over me all the time. So far I am able to drag this but I want to take some pre-caution.

Recently her father was staying at my apartment, she started annoying me to prove me wrong in front of her father and in return to that he started insulting me, because of this I had vacated the apartment and asked her father to leave to avoid any clash but he is still staying there. I want to hold him responsible for anything in my apartment during his stay and in my absence. He is not allowing me to talk to her and my daughter, and even not let me know what he is doing. They have taken all money from our joint account.

Now I am worried of her and my daughter. Her behavior is very uncontrolled and I do not know what she can do. I do not want to leave her and my daughter and know her importance in my life, and still hope I can live happily with her if she improves a bit and show mature behavior.

I want to take precaution for myself and for her too. What shall I do? Some friend asked me to consult some behavior therapist. Please suggest.

Comment #1 me (67.183.214.131) -

File for divorce and sole custody of your daughter. If you wish is not willing to get help, you must protect your daughter and yourself.

Comment #2 Daphne (63.176.159.53) -

first off, there has to be a reason for her behavior. I am sure she did not always act like this, or else you would not have married her, and had a child with her. So, I am guessing that some where along the line you were unfaithful to her, and now she has a hard time dealing with it, and cant get over it. Also, I am guessing that the reason she will not let you leave or go and drink with you buddies is, because you have lied to her about it in the past. And as far as she does not like it when you drink, its probably because when you drink you become a COMPLETLY different person. She loves you dearly and thats why she acts like this, but she does not trust you, and i am sure thats because of how badly you have hurt/lied to her in the past, and I am sure you continue to do things that make her not trust you, such as comments about other women, and the things you do on the internet. I could be wrong, but I doubt I am. Please let me know if I am right or wrong.

Comment #3 Freeloader Deric (63.176.159.148) -

We are only hearing your side of the story. Obviously you are the victim or the protagonist in it, there might be some reason on why your wife is acting like that (more of drove her to insanity). Maybe somewhere along the way you lost it too.

Comment #4 Lloyd (63.176.159.249) -

So what happened to the holy matrimony you vowed? In sickness and in health 'til death do you part, right? I think you both need to see a marriage counselor and a psychologist to diagnose what mental issue you're wife had develop.

I think also that you neglected your relationship with her that is why she went berserk. Women need to pleased just like everyone else. Probably you have failed to prove and secure to her your love for her.

Comment #5 Clarie (202.156.13.234) -

Comment #2 Daphne

I guess she is right.

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