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Questions: I am ready for a baby but my husband is not?This forum post has messages dated from 04/08/10 through 04/10/10, please be sure to read all the messages. If you feel it is old or outdated, please follow up with a question or comment and someone may be able to update it, or reply with newer information if you have it. - Marriage Counseling
| Questions: I am ready for a baby but my husband is not? My husband and I are both 26. We have been married a year and a half but have been together for 14 years. I am absolutely in love with this man but I am ready to start a family with him and he says he is not. I understand his personal choice and by no means want to force him into doing something that he is not yet ready to do. I want advice on how I should handle. Should I set I time line with him? Should I avoid talking to him about it for a few months? Should we seek counseling? It's tough being in this position and I don't want my feelings to ruin our marriage. But to be honest, if he doesn't agree to have children in a year, I honestly don't know what I would do. |
| "A New Baby Is A Major Decision"
Devin, You are a lucky person to be married to someone that you have loved for such a long time. Being together for 14 years is not accomplished by many people these days. Cherish what you have. You are wise to be asking for help. Your comments about not wanting to force or set time lines shows maturity and your willingness to compromise. I do sense an ultimatum at the end of your comments that is disturbing when you state that if he does not agree you do not know what you will do. Kids change everything and that may scare him. This is a decision that requires massive communication with your husband. Please take the time to study this decision closely with him directly and I do respect that you are seeking help. Be prepared to compromise with him because before you bring kids into this world you both need to be on the same path. With 14 years behind you it is worth the effort to plan, compromise, resolve disagreements, and make sure that you both stay on a mutually planned course. Children are the best thing that ever happened to us. They make you less selfish and strengthen relationships that have a good base. Please set your base together before you decide to have kids and don't set ultimatums this early in the game. Regards, Chuck and Kathy |
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