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Getting over being beat when I was young - Domestic Violence
| Getting over being beat when I was youngI am 43 years old.I have to see my "famliy" next week in another state.I have been having flashbacks of repeated beatings as a child.I just shared this with my wife of 7 years.I am looking for help.I feel shame.I ran away when I was 14. |
| Hi Kevin, Welcome to my site. Like you, I was the victim of child abuse and left home at 16. Family reunions for members of families with a history of domestic violence often causes post'traumatic disorder. I suggest you consult a qualified mental health professional to learn how to cope with these feelings. Medication is not necessary, as a rule, for this disorder but learning more about how to conttrol your feeling and behavior will hellp greatlly. šToxic parents" and "Healing the Shame that Binds" are two excellent books. John Bradford is an excellent author who writes a lot about the effects of shame. You may also want to read my articles on the subjuct, is you have not yet done so. Remember that you can control your emotions and determine by conscious choice, what to accept and believe and what to reject as merely the perspective of another person. Good Luck Dr. Doug |
| What you need to do is calm down, you would just waste you energy on senseless things. As you have said, those nasty things that happened to you was a long time ago. You're already 43, they can't beat you up, can they? If you feel shame because of your running away, you just have to show them what you have achieved on your own without them, without the beatings, all by yourself. You would be fine. Trust yourself |
| You're already 43 and you are still pondering on such issues? Well, you can't be blamed if indeed you have been traumatized when you were young but you have to accept the fact that it is already over. what kind of beating did you received anyways? Maybe it was just a hard spanking which you misinterpreted causing you to run away. That is wrong in the United States families, children are more powerful than their parents. Try going to the Philippines, Korea, Japan, china, Vietnam you'll see spanking and hitting hard as a normal way to discipline the young id indeed they are wrong. |
| That is true, in Asian countries you will see parents spanking their kids as a way to discipline their children. Just as long as you are being spanked on the buttocks and sometimes on the palm of the hand I think there is nothing wrong with that. You are just being disciplined by your parents. But hitting on the head, the stomach, the legs and the face is something else. |
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