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my wife wants divorce and says theres no hopeThis forum post has messages dated from 12/04/08 through 12/05/11, please be sure to read all the messages. If you feel it is old or outdated, please follow up with a question or comment and someone may be able to update it, or reply with newer information if you have it. - Bipolar Disorder
| my wife wants divorce and says theres no hope my wife and i have always had a pretty good relationship, until about 6 months ago. she was diagnosed bipolar and was reccommended counselling and meds. i went with her to every counselling to show my support for her, and to show her that i wasn't going anywhere, that i would always be there for her. (our relationship had hit the rocks for awhile and she was afraid i would try to find some one better). but i have never faltrered, hard as it may be sometimes, i love her with everything i am, and i am not going to give up on her and my kids. recently she stopped taking her meds and says that when she is not on them she can see how much i take advantage of her because i dont help clean the house enuff, and because i'm not as sensitive a guy as she needs. that i no longer make her happy. so on thanksgiving day she asked me for a divorce, and she refuses to even consider trying to work on our marriage at all, she told there is no hope for us. i dont know if this is because she is off her meds, or if maybe we really are over. we have been married for three years and have two children together. my family is my whole life and i trying to do anything i can to keep us together and make my marriage a happy one. i was wondering if anyone knows how to cope with something like this, and how to salvage what i have with my wife. i dont know how to show her she is the love of my life and i will do anything for her, but the marine corps has not given me any training on how to handle this part of my life... any help |
| i talked to my wife for hours last nite trying to get to the real source of the problems she is having with me. she said something that really hit me hard. she told me she is afraid of holding me back from true happiness. but when i asked her what she meant by that she said she didnt know exactly, its just that is not happy anymore and maybe some one out there will be happy me and she doesn't want to prevent that. i dont know how to understand what she is going through right now. the marine corps has up our pay really bad, and ive been trying so hard at work to get a better position that doesn't require so much of my time that have neglected to see that she was needing me to cry with her at times. i told her i know im not always perfect but i only want her to be happy, and whatever it takes to do that. but she says it may be too late. she has sort of agreed to give me until christmas to change her mind, so i'm going to do everything i can for her and our children, but i'm not sure exactly what to do. i could really use a womans perspective on this. any one? |
| well i didnt have a choice i did what i thought i would never have to do. last night i moved out of my house and moved in with a buddy of mine. it hurt so bad to leave them but that is what she wanted and i only want her happy. today things seem a little better for me i dont feel like i'm useless. i hope that time apart from her is good for us and that she soon changes her mind about divorce, and we can make this work. if she needs some space then i'll give it to her and i'll wait until she is ready to talk to me no matter how long it takes, i will always be there for her. you know for some reason it just seems to help me puting all this in words, and i dont know why. |
| Hi there, I just want to share my own story regarding this one. I am also having some sort of problem with my wife. My wife also wants to have a divorce. She is diagnosed to have a bipolar and I do not know what to do with our relationship. I just want everything to turn out right and she just continue to disagree and just think that it will be no use at all. What should I do regarding this matter? |
| "I'm in your boat, man."
I'm both shocked in thankfull coming across your post! Thankfull to see that I'm not the only one in this position, and shocked that my wife may be in the early stages of a bi-polar disorder.She is such an amazing and special person, and we've had a great mariage for the last 6 years. Now, for no real reason she wants a divorse!? She sais that she needs to go on a journey to find herself and that perhaps out there somewhere she may meet someone who can offer her what she needs. She also sais that I am such an amazing person and that somewhere out there is someone who deserves me!? Her explanations are in no way concrete. I've resigned to the fact that she has fallen out of love with me. But reading your post has shook me in noticing the similarities, and I suddenly realised that her mother has a serious case of a bi-polar disorder. I pray this is not true, but if it is I'm afraid I have a grim suggestion for both of us: We have to get out. I've seen how this disorder hurts the people who love the victims. Victims of this disorder go cold, distant and turn their backs on people who stand in front of them with open and loving arms. All afforts are meaningless to them. Then suddenly out of nowhere there is a flowering of hope only to be followed by the cold and mercyless distance. I'll be reading more about this disorder, but I'm afraid it is not looking good. Thank you so much for sharing! You've given me hope in at least understanding what is happening. |
| "In the boat also"
After reading your post and the ones following there after I to am in pretty close to the same situation. I am Air Force and that alone does not make family life any easier. I too have been looking for better positions to try and spend more time and home to help aid my wife who is bi-polar type one, which is from what i am told is the most severe type of bi-polar. Me and my wife have been married for three years now with 2 daughters together. Since my graduation from boot camp my wife has made attempts and mentions of wanting a divorce. Almost along the same lines as your wife. She felt i would be happier with someone else. I love my wife and dont wish to see that happen. Recently she has been picking fights with me lately over little things and i feel like it is slowly esscalating to where she throws in i want a divore again. I hav manage to talk her our of it 3-4 times now. I too do not know what else to do to help ourselves. |
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