Self Help Forum Home Page 02/13/12 08:31

'boyfriend's 19 year old son ' Bipolar Disorder

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boyfriend's 19 year old son

- Bipolar Disorder

Forum Post

shy

st louis

boyfriend's 19 year old son

I find that every now and then my boyfriend's son complains about something I've said. He is arrogant and claims to know the best information about everything. I got angry with him recently because he was telling me how to clean a bathtub. Which I see as absurd since he doesn't clean very well at all. Usually I try to ignore what he says and walk away - that is what I've been told to do by the young man's parents. My boyfriend has asked me to come to him if his son causes a problem and he will find a way to handle it.

I feel that the young man's feelings are set above everyone else in order to protect him. I have left with feelings of inadequacy in regards to the way situations are handled. Does anyone out there have a similar problem. How did you handle it?

Meg

I don't know much about this situation, not having too many details actually being given, but I can imagine how difficult it must be to live in this sort of situation with someone who is very attached to you, bringing along someone who has bipolar disorder. The problem with this disorder is that most of the time the person often seems normal, thus you tend to treat them as a normal person, making you unprepared for the times when they switch to the other side.

shy

st louis

"boyfriends 19 year old son"

Not sure I am doing the reply right but here goes.....

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. I live 30 min away. We are together every weekend. Every other weekend his son and daughter are with us. We are not sure if he takes his meds or not. He spends his time gaming, eating and at times crabbing about something. Whenever he has an issue with me or someone else in the family life is topsyturvy. When he attacks me, I have been asked by my boyfriend to walk away and tell him about it and he will do what he can. If I attempt to engage the son in a conversation, it usually ends up with me walking away because of course I am never right. I have a professional degree in the medical field. He quit highschool and has a GED.

Treating him as I would a patient in the hospital I work just doesn't work. First of all he is not my patient. Secondly, I wouldn't treat him. My field is physical therapy.

When he complains to his mother that I 'blow him off' I feel that I am the one put on the carpet. I do take offense to that. He is not called upon to act as an adult ever. His counselor believes he has the mentality of a 14 year old. He definitely rules the roost. Everyone must bend over backwards to deal with him. Even when he is the one causing the trouble.

What I need are some tools to cope with the problems that come up now and them. Staying away from him works best. I do usually walk away as my boyfriend suggested but now and then I do say something that causes a rift.

If the answer is simply to continue to walk away, then I will just continue with that method. If anyone has a better way, please tell me.

#3
01/09/12 05:24

Vanessa

USA

""boyfriends 19 year old son""

You can treat him as a friend and give him a lot love because he will be familiar and give you some special part of his life and he must care of you and he will loves you.

You can advice from marriage therapist and counselor because they have good knowledge and experience so you can contact because my friend was this types of problems and the solution give by marriage counselors.

#4
01/09/12 08:50

shy

st louis

"thanks Vanessa"

I do try to be his friend. But you must understand that being the friend of a person like him is really a little difficult. One never knows when he will verbally attack or throw things when he is angry. At this time I am still trying to step back and let my boyfriend handle it. My frustration comes in when his behavior is just sluffed off as if it is ok to behave badly without consequences.

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