'Relationships with Bi-Polar people'

Susan (65.203.69.58) -

I am currently in a relationship with a person who has bi-polar disorder. In the year that I have known this person I have seen his mood changes and he even ended up in a mental hospital about 2 months ago. After he left the hospital, against doctors orders, He went on a shopping spree and spent about 8,000 in a period of about 4 days. He has switched jobs about 4 times in the past 8 months. I really care for this person and when his bi-polar diorder is under control he is so creaitve, passionate, open-minded. At other times he thinks he is on top of the world and no one can prove them wrong. How serious is this illness and can people with bi-polar disorder maintain a job, and a relationship?

Comment #1 Dr. Doug (200.91.169.133) -

Hi Susan,

Bi-polar disorder is very treatable and a person can carry on a normal life with this illness as long as they take their medication. That is the major problem, during a manic cycle the bi-polar patient feels extremely well and often stops taking the medication and gets worse.

It is one of many reasons I became a psychologist, I have been a Bi-polar patient for over 20 years and carried out a full time practice as minister and psychologist. So get your man into a psychiatrist for an examination and encourage him in taking his meds. If he refuses to go or take his meds, you have two choices: 1) stay with him and deal with the roller coaster life-style or 2) leave him. If children are involved I recommend choice #2.

Dr. Doug

Comment #2 Kelly (152.160.137.10) -

Dr. Doug,

My husband was diagnosed as bi-polar and we lost him 4 and 1/2 years ago to suicide. My son is now 17 and after years of a close relationship, I have seen a drop in his grades and loss of interest in school. He has become defiant and at this time has left home. This is a young man I have never before encountered. His dream is to join the Marines as his father before him. My concern is how genetically disposed is he to bi-polar disorder and will this effect a military career? My son is a brilliant young man, but all of a sudden he is making some very strange and very disappointing decisions. How can I help him?

He asked me a couple of weeks ago "How much like Dad am I?" I answered without thinking...You look like him and sometimes you act like him, but you are your own person, an individual and unique. Could I have missed a cry for help?

Comment #3 Dr. Doug (200.91.169.133) -

Hi Kelly,

Welcome to my site. I know of no genetic predisposition for bi-polar disorder-you can't "catch" it not pass it on. However, it is not unusual to see the same mental illness more often in some families than in others. Most people with Bi-polar disorder are very intellegent and can lead very successful lives as long as they stay on their medication and usually in psychotherapy or counseling with a trained professional.

What you have described is the grieving processes your son is going through after the death of his father. I recommend that you get him into see a profesional so he can be tested and he can and should be treated for whatever the problem is. Bi-polar disorder is serious but unless it is proven he has it, I don't know any reason why it would prevent his service. You already know how serious it can be so having a mental health evaluation is a good idea-probably for both of you.

Warmest Regards,

Dr. Doug

Comment #4 Galen (63.227.127.7) -

To All;

My heart pours out to all who have this bi polar disorder, and my heart pours out to all who love and cherish someone with this disorder.

I am a white male, 45 years of age and I am not bi polar. And I really knew nothing about this disorder until about 4 years ago.

I fell in love with this beautiful, endearing, loving woman. And so did she with me. At first she hid her illness and as time went by the ups and downs, the irrational thinking, and her insecurities seemed odd. Into the 2nd year of our relationship she finally told me all about her illness. She is also dual diagnosed as a drug addict. Recovering therapy 2nd or 3rd time.

When Dr. Doug talks about a rollar coaster ride in life, he is right. I couldn't believe the most beautiful creature in the world I wanted to give my heart and my life to has this horrible illness.

Everyday, became seemed to be more of a struggle for us as time went on. I was so frustated because I wanted to just try and fix things. And I couldn't. I felt so helpless. The physical abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, jealousy, insecurities, all became to much. After time the majority of them seemed to stop, yet they always seemed to pop out. Out of nowhere!!

I know she is trying everyday, and keeping up on her meds. A month ago we broke the relationship. She can't do it. Again, I feel so helpless. Yet, it is everyday reality for someone who has this illness. And I now it is a reality for me.

I will never forget and I am not saying it is not possible to have a long term relationship with a diagnosed bi polar. There are so many circumstances to each relationship.

I just wanted to share this with you because I understand and care about "MY LOVE" and others like myself that have experienced this or are going through the same thing.

Thank you for listening,

God Bless

Galen

Comment #5 Mary (67.168.116.210) -

I'm very concerned that my 16 yr old daughter may be bi-polar. She has always had outburst and been violent towards me. Now that she is older she does not seem to care whos around or what they see. She can be fine one minute and then freaking out the next. And she never seems to remember the stuff she does.I would like to get her help. but, not sure how to go about it. I have been told by several people I should get her checked.

Comment #6 Carl Brown (66.94.94.154) -

I have been dating a woman for 9 months and have seen her go through varying stages of highs and lows. All the signs of bipolar are present, irrational thinking, extreme insecurity, racing thoughts, spending sprees, impulsivity, sexual acts with strangers, and then the low points, you get the point. Well I finally felt confident in speaking to her about this. When I talked to her our evening had been wonderful. I spoke to her in a very calm and reassuring voice, being very empathic but her response was varied. She went from crying to denial, to I'll show you that you are wrong. I'm not crazy, I will get assessed and you will see, to literally breaking up with me the next day. We have since talked but she was extremely hurt that I said such horrible things to her. After a couple days she actually forgave me for the harsh things I said. Go figure, I feel like that was her reality yetI told her thank you for forgiving me. Right now she wants to be friends but still loves me and has a desire to spend time with me. Where do I go from here? Give her space, of course I will continue to support her even outside of our relationship. Continue to communicate as I read that Bipolars need assurance all the time. She sometimes says things to see my reaction. Is she playing games, does she feel undeserving etc.

Comment #7 penny Levy (71.32.22.53) -

I am married to an Internal Medicine Physician, We were married Nov. of 2000. My husband is is 55 years old, he was diagnoised bipolar in 2002. His father, brother, grandfather on his mothers side and uncle all died of sucide. In 2002, my husband was manic, then went into a depression I had to feed him bathe totally be at his side. Then in the next moment I am accused of having affairs. He was off of work for a year, then got on with IHS after a year his mania was mistaken for being producative he was made medical director of the facility. Within weeks he was put on administrative leave, now he is working in a remote area. He filed for a divorce in 2003, he hires attorneys and then never contacts them again, they withdraw from the case. He never would do all the paper work and never show up for court. Finally, this last attorney he hired, we did go to court, his bipolar disorder was brought out, the illogical thinking, money difficulties, the fact we had never seperated. The judge still has not ruled. I finally a year ago, left my husband stayed with relatives, for a few months just to get my head on straight. To set healthy boundaries with my husband has been impossiable. If you disagree, he writes you off and you are dead to him. No feeling. He has not spoken to his daughter for years and probably will never see her again.

I can see and feel his pain. I drove away from the house he stays on the reservation in May, I have not seen or talked to him since. He kissed me told me he loved me. I know he will never contact me. I have made the decision, if he does not take his medication as directed, and refuses any kind of counselling, I cannot just "be" ther for him, check out of life and quietly be at his side. If I continued to not live life and walk on egg shells, walk quietly behind him and clean up all the messes, then I would be just as sick as him. I will leave the door open, however I will work and live life.

When someone believes something so stronly that they can see it in their mind, would counselling help, or is just the way it is?

Comment #8 penny levy (71.32.22.53) -

Dear Dr. Doug:

I am married to a doctor who is also bipolar. He lost his practice. He then went to work for IHS was put on administrative leave during mania is now working in a remote are in Montana, on a reservation. I have two questions first of all there was a period of time in 2002 that my husband was physcotic delusional, there were times he drove done a busy street in the wrong lane and then there were weeks he did not get out of bed, to be standing in a room rocking back and forth hitting his head on the wall. (i believe that was the medication) during that time in my husbands mind he see me vividly having affairs, even though i was at his side every minute. If he took his medication properly and did received therapy would it help and how much. Will this ever come to pass? (his own physcriatist comitted suicide 11-25-05) that was not helpful. History: my husbands father, brother suicided. His grandfather on his mothers side suicided and also his uncle. What i experience with my husband is, he accuses me of the very things that he does. Very secretative, awful with money, not trustworthy. I have removed myself from the situation, I believe these are "his" issues it is not my place to convince him that i am faithful. He is currently on the reservation, and I live in our home in another town. In all of my husbands relationship, if you do not contact him, he will not contact you, i have not spoken to him since 5-14-06, his daughter and anyone who was ever close to him are all "dead" to him. If a person quits trying to measure up to him he just writes them off.

His future is bleak. "Could things turn around with counselling" pl

Comment #9 Joanna (69.159.50.146) -

Hello,

thanks for sharing your stories - it's difficult to read, but so reassuring to know I am not alone; My husband has bipolar and I am having a very diffult time coping with his moods. He is on medication, but not well-controlled; he has been without a job for several months and I am so tired of doing everything. My daughter is a happy little girl - I hide a lot from her because I want to preserve her emotional state and ensure she is brought up well and loved dearly. I on the otherhand, try hard to keep things going, but am realizing this is not the future I wish to continue with. I know love and destiny is cherished in a marriage, but one also needs to care for oneself and recognize there is more out there than the daily challenge of living with a bipolar. My advice, although for some may seem selfish is to end a relationship with a bipolar if you are constantly battling daily challenges - regardless of whether this illness is treatable, there are many factors that contribute to success, but just as many other factors contribute to failure. I want to take pride in loving life and enjoying it to the fullest with my daughter....not living the unpredictable and enduring the daily challenges - life is too short. Good luck to all of you

Comment #10 Marcitta from New Jersey, Unhappy (Contact Member) -

Dr.Doug,

I would like to start off by saying thank you for creating this website. I am a 19 year old college student who is dealing with bi-polar disorder without medication. I am a very unhappy person. I made a big step from about 2 years ago when I was attempting suicide, throwing and breaking things, and hitting boyfriends with whom I was in relationships with. I have brief, turbulent relationships and most of my partners do not understand what is wrong with me so they pack up and leave me. Most of the day I spent writing books on love and how I want my love life to be but then I find myself getting upset and crying when I realize that my love life is the pits. My relationship with my family is not a very good one because I isolate myself from them and they always pick on me. Even the little ones. For the past 6 months or so I calmed down just a bit. I haven't attempted or hardly thought of suicide but if I get sexually intimate with someone I automatically think that I've fallen in love with them and the relationship goes downhill from there. I know that I can make it through this without being on medication because I've made slow progress. But I just need to go to some kind of support group so i'll know that I am not alone. I feel alone all the time. I cry because I feel like my world is coming to an end. I find myself lying and making up things just to get people to feel bad for me. I really need someone's help. I am going to school to become a psychiatrist but how can I understand someone if I don't understand myself? I will check it every morning. Dr. Doug please help me so I don't destroy my life at an early stage. Before I go there's one more thing I forgot to mention, I have abused acohol since the age of 16 and I have a tabacco addiction...A heavy one. I smoke at least one pack of newports a day. I just want to know what can I do because right now I have no health insurance to see anyone. Please doctor help me. This is a cry for help.

Comment #11 Joseph Vulich (24.29.9.90) -

I recently locked myself in a hotel rm. wanting to kill myself.

I just got a new job, and they're starting to realize i have a bad stress factor, "bi-polar", I have alot of financial issues, as well as other things, Is going to a depression chat rm. helping me? I feel worthless, but really brilliant at the same time...artist, musician, poet, and a very out-goin' person!!

I miss my wife, and son!! "tears", TY, Dr.

Comment #12 Natalie from Seattle (Contact Member) -

Hi,

For 3 years I was involved with a man diagnosed with a rare kind of bipolar disorder. His moods could change very quickly and he could become violent with no provocation. Out of the blue he would start stomping around the house cursing, screaming and throwing things. We had a child together two years ago. On more than one occasion his violent outburst put the childs safety at risk. Sometimes his rage was directed at the child and he would verbally assault her. I finally had to get a restraining order against him. The judge ruled against giving him any visitation rights given the circumstances. He is currently trying to appeal the judges decision. I wonder if I am being too harsh not allowing him to see his child. I can't get over the images of those moments of violence and his complete disregard for our childs well being. He went to a mental health clinic and was given medication. He refused to take his medication as prescribed and took five times the prescribed dose. He started trading meds with a friend also recieving treatment at mental health. His violence became so intense it terrified me. I find myself in an impossible position. I cared deeply for this man but at the same time feel the well being of my child must come first.

Comment #13 GloriaC from New York (Contact Member) -

Hi my name is Gloria and my mother has been diagnosed Bi- polor manic depressive for over 20 years bow. She has had numerous mental breakdowns. My father gave up his career and schooling in order to take care of her and us kids. I guess I could say it has been hell but understanding it has made it easer to cope with it. It's definantly a journey but a worthwile one! To all those who have loved ones who have been recently diagnosed hang in there it takes time but with medication and theripy the ilness can be more manageble for everyone involved. My hope and prayers goes out to all of you!

Comment #14 Bee (76.208.158.129) -

Hi Doctor,

It is my first time to visit your website. I marriage with a guy that have mood change very often and kind of introvert personality. About last year, we got married and we were a very happy married couple. Then two months after that my husband told me that he was not ready to be marriage. He was depressed a lot, mood change all the time, up set, sad, ...etc Until one day, he took out to see other woman in Thailabd. He told me that marriage is like a cage and he can not be himself or have a freedom. He told me that he was himself when he met someone else, not his family. Then after that he broke up with that girl, return to me and told me that he was happy in our marriage and want to be a better husband. He does improve over time, happy and working hard for family. Three weeks ago, he met someone else and having an affair in our marriage again for the same reasons that he was happy with her.

I need your opinion about my husband. Is he bi polar disorder? and in which stage? I decided to walk away from his life because what he had done, it is too much. But I was concern about him because he is going to Iraq in 3 months. If he is bi polar disorder, I am afraid that he might do something unexpect over there.

Thank you veyr much.

Comment #15 Dan Banker (75.69.99.241) -

I'm 21 and I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when I was 16. It feels more like a disease, but anyway i've been taking my meds for about 5 years straight and my life seems more stable, but sadly i know my life will never be normal no matter how often dr's and people tell me. I just have to take things one step at a time. The only problem is I really can't be myself around others because I seem over the top, like happy go lucky all the time. I don't know whether its because of my age or because of my illness, but it is really a drag when it comes to my personal life because i'm single and I have few to no friends.

Comment #16 Me (192.195.66.44) -

I am in a relationship with some one bipolar and let me tell you I am starting to despise this person. No matter what I do its not good enough. She use to be with people who used her, abused her and everything over the sun. Now all of a sudden she is with me she doesn't want me to have any friends, I can't get a phone call and she even has the nerves to say that I am cheating on her. I am 28yrs old and she is 22 about to be 23 in the next few days. I am a radio producer and I can't even take a ing phone call because she wants to know who it is. When i tell her who it is she still makes an issue out of it. She was with people who used drugs, drink, party...you name it they did it. Now since she is with me she doesn't have any friends and doesn't want me to have any. At one point she tried to say I was keeping her from meeting my friends and hiding something. So I introduced her to my friends and about a week or two later; the bitch had something to say about them. No matter what she always has something to say. I go out of my way for her and its not good enough. I get things free from my job such as tickets to concerts, movies etc. If someone is coming to our home town concert wise, that she likes I get her the tickets or get tickets to advance movie screenings. She is not satisfied with me doing that. she makes light of me getting things free as if the thought, time and consideration doesn't mean a damn thing to her. I have always said I wanted a future with her but it is getting to the point I don't see a future with her. I am trying to better myself and do things that can not only help me but us and all she does is come up with insane bull things to argue about. She will blow up about the smallest thing and run with it for days. Mean while I have to say hey call the people at the university so you can register for college. When i first started dating her she said no one will help her with college. I not only paid for two semsters of college and her books but I recently got her into a program that will pay for her whole four years in college. I have to tell her to call her cousonler and register for school or make a doctors appointment or the million other thats that have importance. She can never do anything that is positive. When it comes to doing something that is benificial and positive she can't and won't do it. She will make every excuse in the world. Yet when it comes to blowing up about something that isn't even worth it, she is good to go. I honestly can say doctors are not doing her any good and its not them its her. She never tells the docotr whats wrong or take the medication he perscribes her and its like how can you be helped if you don't help yourself. I can also say I ing hate her family because they allow her to be this way. They cater to her and walk around on eggshells around her. They never say look get help or get out...Instead they sit there and say well she is just being her and they go back to there semi charmed lives. Bull ! This is what I mean, a few weeks ago her mother cooked dinner and told us to come down stairs and eat. We go down there and her mother is a nurse and makes a joke about getting a skimmpy nurse outfit..Her mom laughed, i laughed and she was all frowned up. Her mom keeps joking and i laughed because it wasn't funny but because I was uncomfortable. After dinner we go up stairs she blows up at me over something her mom said. Then told me to leave and don't come back. I leave and her mom said why am I leaving and I told her what happened. Her mom said I am sorry I will take you home because I feel it is my fault. Her mom went back in the house to get her keys and my girlfriend told her mom no and mind your damn business. Her mom came back out and said she told me not to take you home. I am looking like no one around thinks something is wrong with that whole thing. They cater to that . I am sick of all of them and my girlfriend has her good moments but you know what they are far and few. I am just sick of the bull. I am trying to move forward and she is just flat line and content with no growth. Mean while trying to sabotage me and everything I am trying to do. I know that this is not going to get any better. Its going to get worse, because she doesn't help her-self nor does her family help her or even intervene in the sense to force her to get help. I can't spend the next 40 years of my life wondering what in the hell will she think if i do this or what will she think if i have a friend. Its funny she is so against now having friends and me having them but she wants to go away to college. I told her, I said wow it sure will be hard down there since you don't like people. She said yeah I know. I said you are going to need a friend. She said yeah you are right, I know i will make friends down there. Mind you she is against having friends. How insane is that? It makes no sense. I can't understand this logic nor am i going to try to...But I want to do know is this normal behavior with these type of people? and how can anyone deal with this?

Comment #17 Dee in Idaho (76.27.32.213) -

I have been married for 28 years to a man with bi-polar disorder. I did not know this when I met, married him. He seemed upbeat, smart, outgoing, confident. But he seemed to jump from one thing to the next. When he was 35 he had his first episodes to where he was hospitalized for a total of 9 days. This was because he had become delusional and the drs. told me it was bi polar. I did not know what this was. I had 3 kids and one on the way. I just know he sulked alot, got angry over things when they did not go his way and he held grudges, esp. against me, constantly.

AFter he exited the hospital, he was was on meds for awhile but because he said they made him feel weird, he was off them in 3 months.

He has never lost his job which he has had with a church organiziation now for 28 years, but he has had alot of patience shown to him there, I know.

I had my tubes tied when our 4th was 4 years old becuase of his ongoing mental instability and it was making me nuts. He became incredibly angry at me for that and has belittled me for 13 years straight--saying I was no good now that I could not have any more kids.

Recently, for medical reasons, I had a hysterectomy and kept it from him. He found out and the hostility has increased to where I do not think I can live with him any more. This duress has really affected our now young adults kids and their relationships as he treats me like a live in housekeeper, always justifying his coldness (we have not had sex in 9 years)due to my "unworthiness".

He can be wonderful, but now he is extremely secretive, spends agreat deal of money, has taken my name off everything. Neighbors think he is great! 2 faced. Charming outside home, angry, moody, withdrawn, opinionated, denigrating to me. He is pretty upbeat with our kids, but they know how he treats me. They are so loving to me, but I stay nuetral and never denegrate their dad. He denegrates me openly to them, if the opportunity arises. Again, all of this because, he says, I cannot bear any more childrren. I am now in my mid 50's.

Comment #18 margarita garcia (68.198.236.73) -

I can't believe I am reading all this ! I've lived all of this and more ! I started dating a 43 yr old bipolar man. The relationship lasted 4 months. A terrible one may I add. He would call me every demeaning word in the book, assaulted me, harrassed me, has stolen practically every valuable I've ever carried in my purse. His paranoia and insecurities were waaaay out of line. He would always think I was cheating on him or slandering him with my family and friends. Everytime he decided to go drinking I knew I was in for a major flip. Many times he'd lose it and start driving at over 90 miles an hour on an inroad. While driving, he even hit an innocent pedestrian ... throwing him approximately 30-40 feet in the air. As I screamed and kept explaining to him what he had done, all he could say was: "stop exaggerating... the dude is ok." I really knew I was dealing with some souless person. He had no regard for his life or anybody else's. Every encounter he had with the police, he'd want me to lie for him and always have the blame put on someone else to clear himself. He would threaten that if I didn't do so he would have "his brothers" (all of which are cops) to bring up false charges on me. Every time he was faced with some problem that brought in police attention, he'd immediately tell the cops about his brother's being cops and they'd either give him a warning or let him go. He even got to the point of saying that he was a retired police officer at the same precinct where 2 of his brother's worked. After investigating this through the internal affairs unit, I found out that only 2 of his brother's were cops there and they had no knowledge of that person I was inquiring about. Again, more lies. It's just so sickening how the law "protects" the "true victims." This is a man that's a danger to others. He refuses to take his medication and drinks alcohol (while driving may i add) and yet the police cannot pick up on any of this even after the victims let them know "the real deal." Our officials need to become more aware of this illness as it not only puts them at risk... it puts all of humanity at risk. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Comment #19 jennifer (66.31.168.85) -

How can I seriously suggest a doctor/medication to my boyfriend. Whenever I bring it up he litterally gets so angry and ignores me. He is soooo bi polar. I see the change right in him--although he has more of the up lifting craziness then the depression for sure. He thinks he is all that, and that I am doing everything wrong... Accusation after accusation. Let me add, I am working 40 hours a week full time and just picked up a secound job 5 nights a week (I am cheating, flirting, sneaking around doing things he dont know about) He doesnt have a job-collects ssi, does whatever he does all day, and Im doing something wrong?? He has also had drug/drinking problems in the past. Whenever I know that he even picks up one beer, I cant be around. I dont know what the night is going to have in store... Its like a totally different person. Its been almost 2 years since we have been back together, Ive known him for 20, we dated as teens. Im sooo at a loss with this relationship.. I never know what to expect and why.....and I feel totally stuck.. If I ever left him (ive been his savior from drugs/crime, etc) he would either be back in jail or dead. Seriously... I love him but Im also stuck.

Comment #20 Jennifer (65.206.119.147) -

I have been in a relationship with a bipolar man for about 4 years now. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that I asked him to go to the doctor and he was diagnoised with bipolar. For years I have thought that his money problems, job losses, etc were just bad luck, but in reality 90% of it has to do with him being bipolar. One minute he is the most wonderful man in the world, my best friend, and so much more, but then there are those days or weeks when he is needy, knocks me, is jealous of myself and everything I do, talks a mile a minute and is very controlling and basically verbally abusive towards me. I have given him well over $20, 000.00 in the past year to help him with bills, car payments, vacations, etc, and yet he still makes me feel as if he doesn't owe me anything. I admit I do love him in many ways, but I know deep in my heart I need to break this relationship off for good. I feel for bipolar people, I know they did not ask to have this disorder, but even someone as strong as myself eventually gets broken down and it becomes a choice between your own mental sanity, personal life, financial well-being, or the bipolar person. The crazy thing is that bipolar relationships are hard to rid yourself of, I pray daily that I will have the strength to remove myself from someone that I love so dearly, and who I will miss from having in my life, and I hate that it has to be that way, but I don't think there are any other options, the rollercoast has to stop eventually and I don't want to be the one who gets shoved off.

Comment #21 melancholiyaMOE (74.107.225.150) -

im a bipolar male. and i dont know wat else to say really........

i bear witness there is no deity who deserves to be worshiped other than allah. heaven is forever. this life is temporary. lets us pray we enter paradise. god willing*

AMEEN.

Comment #22 Michonne (142.131.184.99) -

Reading these comments do give me an understanding what others think about a person that has Bipolar. Both my boyfriend and I have bipolar. Meeting him three years ago was the best thing that has happened to me. We have discussed about getting married in the future and having kids later down the road. We both are creative, outgoing, athletic, full of life with lots of energy and always staying busy. The only concerns we have in the future is when we plan the pregnancy. I was told by my doctor themedication will need to change. I have been on the same medicne for over 4 years. Not only my my kids have a chance to have biploar, but I am concerned about my mental stability when I do eventually become pregnant. By taking my medication, having a counselor during the pregnany and staying on a good diet, not overloading a busy schedule and getting enough rest should be just fine.

We both were diagnosed before we were 18. Both of us has had a history of drugs and alcohol, then later diagnosed at a young age. Having a relationship with someone who has bipolar is just as normal as any other relationship. There will always be ups and downs. Never will we blame the illness when we have problems, when we have our "off days". With God in the center of our relationship, trusting him and doing what is right by taking the medication.... everything we do is normal, just like any other ordinary couple EXCEPT we learn from each other and understand why we feel the way we do.... Sometimes we could be in a mania stage, feeling irritable, depressed, feeling angry or distracted, racing thoughts, insecurities, having anxiety or just not focusing, we understand how to encourage one another, we are both honest with our feelings and we are supportive because both of our parents do not have this illness. Feeling loved by someone who understands this illness and treating me just like anyone else is awesome. I have been taking the same medication for many years and feel great! If you do what is healthy for yourself, exercizing (I participate in half marathons and small 5K road races), a healthy diet, getting enough rest and living a balanced life, this illness can not take over you. In the past I did have a hard time getting adjusted to the medication when I was first diagnosed, just as any other teenager, they have there troubled times adjusting as well as speaking to different counselors. I gained 60 pounds and it took a couple years to finally get the perfect medication to keep me stable. During the first few years of being diagnosed, it was very hard to concentrate in school, waking up because the medicine was so strong, or trying to adjust to the different medince at that time. Eventually with many prayers from family, I am now doing well and loving life!

I am currently in school full time, working full time and going to school to become a personal trainer and massage therapist for sports medicine. Having this illness is just like someone having diabetes, to beware of the situations you put yourself in, as for a diabetic they watch there food, etc. and a person with bipolar has 3 month checks on there stablity, if the medication is helping them stay focused with a balanced lifestyle. So..having a relationship with someone that has bipolar is very loving, exciting, basically an adventure.

Comment #23 mel (169.241.28.75) -

I was involved with a man who was diagnosed as being bipolar for 4 years off and on. It was a roller coaster ride the entire 4 years. He would often ask me to marry him and we even got engaged a few years ago. Since then he has cheated numerous times, called me awful names and has verbally abused me in public, accused me of cheating. I finally told him this last time we were together that if he left again I was done. He left and asked if he could come back a few days later. Thank goodness I said no because now he's married to one of the women I caught him cheating with. He asked me and her to marry him on the same day, actually within minutes of each other. I cared for him, loved him, and did so much for him. He even asked me to co-sign for him to get a vehicle and get a cell phone for him and be the licensed driver on his insurance policy for his vehicle. Thank goodness I told him no because he is with someone else now. He told me a few weeks ago that he "felt he was making a mistake marrying her." He said she drinks too much and gets drunk a lot and that I was more mature and had more to show for my money. Duh. I don't go on spending sprees or spend a lot of money on alcohol. Anyway, I'm thankful to be off of his roller coaster ride and wish them both the best of luck. I know there are healthy men out there. I just hope he stays on his meds since I took him to the clinic to start on the meds the last time he was here. They said he also needed to attend anger management classes because he's also physically abusive. This other woman told me he's been abusive to her in many ways too and that she has feared being around him and has gone to stay with her mom when she's afraid to be around him. But now that he's on his meds I hope he will be a good husband to her and her a good wife to him.

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