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'My first love is now a dying relatonship' Bipolar Disorder

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My first love is now a dying relatonship

This forum post is dated 06/20/11. If you feel it is old or outdated, please follow up with a question or comment and someone may be able to update it, or reply with newer information if you have it.

- Bipolar Disorder

Forum Post

Odette Greyling

Spain / South Africa

My first love is now a dying relatonship

I've had bipolar symptoms all my life but my strange behaviour was always put down to being weird, so different that people didn't know how to be my friends. Too intelligent but lazy, as nothing in school could keep my attention. Too shy because the fear of speaking people would scare me to tears.

Hardheaded, a dreamer, unambitious, without direction and many more. After being diagnosed with bpd, I took strong medication that finally sent me over the egde for the umpteenth time. But this time it took the love of my life with it. Finally I was diagnosed with bipolar 2. 36 years in the making with 18 solid years of cycles. Everybody says this is great, now my life can start. I feel like my life should now just end.

My boyfriend doesn't have romantic feelings for me anymore. The last year was so horrible for him, he doesn't even remember most of it. He still feels I am the one for him, but since I am here in South Africa for treatment and he in Spain, we cannot work on our relatonship. Where do I go from here. I can't just wait and see, the pain is too much! Everything is happening too slowly, I am completely powerless and the longer I am here, the more time people have to tell him to get out, where I cannot not stand up to them and defend myself. I fell in love when I was 35 for the first time. He fell out of love before I was 36. I have waited for 35 years before I loved and now it is going, I cannot wait another 35!

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