| I am bipolar- constanly seeking self-improvementDear Dr. Doug, I have done extensive research in effort to find information regarding bipolar people dealing with relationships, yet all I can find is information or stories about people in relationships with bipolar people. You see, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at twelve and have luckily gone through my terrible low points in life. I have been stable and on the correct medication since age sixteen (I am twenty-one). I am very fortunate to have my life together. I have a job and I'm attending college, majoring in psychology (for obvious reasons). I am constantly striving to better the way I handle my bipolar for moments when it shows through my medicine. Sadly, I just got out of a relationship with a very wonderful man I dated for three years. We were inseparable, best friends. I loved him, and love him still, with all of my heart. I was terribly unfair to him, though. Not as severe as many of the stories I've read. I did exhibit the irritability, irrationality, and coldness to him quite frequently. Often times, he would ask me why I'm holding so much content for him or why I hate him. I would always apologize sincerely, but he didn't understand and refused to research bipolar disorder. I tried so many ways to change myself but in the end I would become so angry at him, feeling that he was trying to change me. And although that isn't who I want to be it seems I am that person and there's nothing I can do to change myself. Honestly, I simply refuse to believe that. I want to have a normal relationship without all the extra fighting and I don't want the person I'm with to feel it's a chore to be with me. I want to be the girl that can be the same person in an intimate relationship as I am in a friendship. Do you have any insight on how I can obtain my goal of being a nice person 99% of the time as opposed to 50% of the time? I understand you must be busy with your practice and everything, but I would be eternally grateful for any advice you may have for me. Thank you so much for your time. Sincerely, Nadya |
