'Concerned mother'

Anilu (63.28.40.228) - Wed Feb 3 07:27:35 2010

I have a daughter who has been married for thirteen years to a man who is bipolar. She is becoming mentally ill(started taking antidepressants)she has become physically ill as well. She has not found a phychotherapist for herself, as recommended by his psychiatrist the last time he had a phycotic episode.

As her parents, we have not talked to her about our concerns because she becomes defensive and protective of him(she is a very independant profesional woman)His family on the other hand, seem to have the upper hand on all their desitions. She has lost contact with her dear friends and family.

There are disturbing signs about the children as well. Our grandson, is disrespectfull with our daughter, and our side of the family, our gifts are not as good if they are not very expensive and come from his parents. Our 4 year old grandaughter is showing signs of emotional disturbances, his rejection of her is obvious. Our daughter is overwhelmed, she calls her daughter "drama queen" even when her brother or dad have done something to upset her or to make her cry.

As a parent, I have been depressed, most of the time she has been married. I take antidepresants to be able to function at work, I collapse on weekends.

Our daughter's marriage affects too many people.

His continued unemployment(7 times in 13 years), dilusions of grandeur, emotional abuse, manipulation, his irrationality, intrussion on our finances and our plans for old age, lack of empathy, self-centerdness, expensive taste, total finantial control, are taking us on a rollercoaster ride. We try to be supportive and continue to love our daughter at a distance. The D word is the only solution to this madness. I do not want to become codependant to his mental illness, I need to remain rational even if it is killing me slowly.

I do pray for her safety and for the childen.

Are there any other parents out there going through the same pain I am going through??

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